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The Gate of Tears: Sadness and the Spiritual Path, by Jay Michaelson
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Review
"Teaching us how to distinguish sadness from depression and sorrow from despair, Michaelson shows us how to walk through the "gate of tears" into a territory "full of the promise of healing and redemption." His book is an invitation to awaken to and accept the fullness of our human experience, in which joy and sadness, rather than being opposites, coexist in the complex harmony that is life on Earth."  - Kristine Morris, Foreword Reviews (five star review)"Have you ever felt that a book's arrival in your life was a perfectly-timed gift? That's how I felt when I received my copy of Jay Michaelson's The Gate of Tears... I am grateful for its presence on my bookshelves, and I know that I will read it again."- Rabbi Rachel Barenblat, VelveteenRabbi.blogs.com
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From the Author
I went on my first meditation retreat, years ago, with the intention of achieving enlightenment. Not right away, of course, but hopefully, eventually. Along the way, I thought that I might have some of the wonderful, transformative experiences that I'd read and written about as a scholar of religion. So I went on that first retreat,ready to see God.Instead, I saw myself. To my dismay, I found great loneliness, emotional scars from fifteen years of hiding and denying my sexuality,and, above all, a bundle of tactics to avoid seeing clearly--the way I was seeing now, it seemed, for the first time. This wasn't what I had signed up for! I was supposed to be "above"all that. I had been a successful software entrepreneur, a Yale-educated lawyer, and supposedly hard-edged journalist. What was I doing with--gasp--my "inner child"?Eventually, some of those visions and ecstasies did arrive-- and pass, as they inevitably do--and I have been blessed with many years of powerful and profound experiences, far beyond anything I would have imagined on that first retreat. But over time, these experiences became a kind of sideshow.In fact, the so-called "therapy" was the real work. Gradually, I learned to create a kind of internal spaciousness around self-doubt, self-hatred, and pain. And as I made room for the shadows, my eyes got used to the dark. I became intimate with the internal geographies of my heart. And I have written this book because, over time, I have found a reservoir of deep joy precisely in the moments of occasional sadness that attend all who choose to live life sensitive to its movements and momentums.
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Product details
Paperback: 200 pages
Publisher: Ben Yehuda Press (October 1, 2015)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1934730459
ISBN-13: 978-1934730454
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.5 x 8.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 12.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.3 out of 5 stars
6 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#836,658 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Jay Michaelson’s The Gate of Sadness: Sadness and the Spiritual Path seeks to create a much need corrective path from New Age books, talks, and seminars devoted to finding and attaining happiness through spiritual and religious pursuits. Rather than viewing sadness as an impediment to the spiritual path, Michaelson frames it, quite correctly, as integral; without dark times, we would lack the necessary cognitive and mental tools to refine our sense of being in the world.Even when the sadness appears to serve no purpose, Michaelson explains techniques to hold the sadness, to allow it to dwell within us without comment or judgement. This Buddhist technique can reveal startling results. By sitting still with the sadness, we can come to an understanding of it as a fleeting state. It moves on, just like all our emotional states. Sadness has no more hold on us than any other emotion.Michaelson writes this book in the first person, giving the work an intimate feel, revealing much about himself and the ups and downs of his quest. This book is excellent ballast for the scores dangerous Pollyanna spiritual guides we find today. It's OK to be sad.
I found this book an odd reflection of what seems to be going on now in spiritual circles: there is a lot of cross-over (which can sometimes expand and deepen understanding) but how much of that cross-over manages to avoid the difficulties and demands of each path or miss the point completely? The old way (a sometimes rigid and culturally conditioned adherence to one way of seeing things) has been replaced by "a little of this and a little of that". Is it really possible to separate Buddhist practice (vipassana) from the 8-fold path with its very specific moral and ethical demands and turn it into a sectarian practice? There is a weird compartmentalization that is happening now and it seems to me to have to do with "having your cake and eating it too". I found this book to be a reflection of that compartmentalization. Renunciation is not the same thing as repression or self-indulgence.. I think it's difficult to reconcile impermanence and emptiness with continuing to prop up a "feel good" sense of the "me".
I like Jay Michaelson's books. I always learn something. With his books like Everything is God, what I've learned is theological and historical. That book introduced me to ideas in Jewish tradition and Kabbalah which were nearly brand new to me. I learned a lot at the level of mind. From The Gate of Tears, I learned something at the level of feeling, a different kind of learning—maybe even more important. We all face sadness, grief, loss, disappointment. We all have emotionally distressed days and feelings of pain and anger and misery. These eventualities are just part of being human and living in time. Buddhism calls this impermanence. And it is the source of so much of our personal suffering. Things change. Jay Michaelson addresses such suffering not as failure of the spiritual life to bring joy and light, but as an almost necessary mechanism of spiritual growth. How else are we to embrace life than by moment by moment acceptance of what is actually happening? The more conscious we are of reality, the more consciously we suffer. That suffering can be the "gate" to greater consciousness and greater love of life. Michaelson deftly blends objective reporting and personal, subjective storytelling. He tells his readers deep secrets, and in doing so demonstrates that all our secrets are alike. The book is about loneliness and unhappiness and grief. But I found the reading made me happy and a little relieved that that's just how life is. I especially like his blending of Jewish, Buddhist traditions and modern thought and culture. The book offers clues to understanding the pain of being human and rising through it.Reviewed by Toby Johnson, author of Finding Your Own True Myth: What I Learned from Joseph Campbell
The book was an easy read and quite moving.
Well done and thoughtful.
Beautiful. Contemplative. Soulful. Redemptive. I savored this book slowly over the Jewish high holidays, and then recommended it to my fellow students, mentors, and colleagues at Harvard Divinity School, as well as to friends who, like me, have journeyed through loss in some way... Thank you, Jay Michaelson, for a book to read slowly--and then again.
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